flash 9 is required to suck my dick

#*

officialannakendrick:

could you please put your crying kid on vibrate

shutupaubrey:

hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital


stability:

philwrir:

officialfrenchtoast:

INTENSE

ITS BACK

I’m bringing this back from the depths of hell

seifukucat:

welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. i’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i’m really disappointed


when they mess up your order at mcdonalds by

blu3hare:

sherlockismyholmesboy:

randomhouse:

When you see it…

it took three passes of this across my dash until I got it and want to throw my macbook out the fucking window

Are you fucking kidding me

bombing:

cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas

me: you said i got one phone call

emmysaurus:

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure

sodamnrelatable:

when one of your friends is sad just go to their house and do this

image

seedy:

it’s 2014 and body hair still does the thing where it grows back when u get rid of it??? wow get ur shit together science